In order to predict the bolt’s stress distribution under the pre-tightening state and the loosening process under the transverse load, a 3D model considering the bolt thread structure was established by finite element method (FEM). In this study, the looseness effect of transverse load amplitude, the friction coefficient of the bolt head load bearing surface and the thread contact surface are mainly studied. The result indicated that the stress under bolt pre-tightening is mainly concentrated on the contact part of the bolt’s head and bar. At the contact area of the load threads at one end and the transition part between the bolt bar and the thread, the stress and axial direction of the thread part are offset. Under the transverse displacement load, the sliding of the bolt can be divided into three stages: full contact, viscous contact, and full slip. The numerical model of bolt relaxation obtained in this paper can provide reference for the application, checking and prediction of threaded fasteners.